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August 4, 2021
'SNL' returns with 'Rudy Giuliani' and his witnesses contesting the election

‘SNL’ returns with ‘Rudy Giuliani’ and his witnesses contesting the election

The opening sketch of the NBC variety show had McKinnon’s Giuliani at a hearing in Michigan, presenting witnesses with testimony regarding allegations of voter fraud.

“This election was stolen from the American people with a level of trickery not seen since Houdini,” McKinnon’s Giuliani said while farting. “That wasn’t me. That was you guys.”

McKinnon’s Giuliani said that he and President Trump would overturn the results first in Michigan, then in “Georgiavania” and “North-a-Canada.”

“You want evidence? Okay, well, today I brought before you a dozen highly intelligent, barely intoxicated individuals who are all eye witnesses,” McKinnon’s Giuliani said.

The first witness was Cecily Strong playing Melissa Carone, an IT contractor for Dominion Voting Systems, who spoke with Giuliani at a hearing in Michigan and drew audible laughter.

“I swear to tell my whole story, and nothing but my story so help me God,” Strong’s Carone said.

Strong’s Carone then told the panel in the hearing to lose their attitude “just like you ‘lost’ all those Trump ballots” and said that she personally saw hundreds, if not thousands, of dead people voting.

“Did you check every poll? Did you talk to all the dead people?” Strong’s Carone asked the Michigan state senators. “I’m not lying. I signed an After David.”

Other witnesses included a woman who “ate ballots,” a man who was abducted by aliens, Michael J. Lindell — the CEO of My Pillow, and Chloe Fineman, who was playing Nicole Kidman’s character from HBO’s “The Undoing.”

Strong then returned as Carone to say that Dominion cheated her out of her cheesy bread.

“I think you’re confusing Dominion with Dominos,” one of the state senators told her.

“Either way, my vote took longer than 30 minutes so it’s supposed to be free,” Strong’s Carone said.

Finally, McKinnon’s Giuliani said he would not give up the fight to overturn the election.

“In conclusion, I would say the defense rests, but we will never rest. Not until this election is overturned, or I get a full pardon and $10 million in cash,” McKinnon’s Giuliani said. “And if you liked what you saw here today, we’re giving a press conference right after this at the Ritz-Carlton… Plumbing and Heating Supply Company.”

McKinnon then said the show’s signature sign on: “Live… From New York! It’s Saturday night!”